A day in the life.
I used to have a friend named Tal. He and I used to have foot races up and down Walnut Street. Sometimes he won, sometimes I won, but it was always really close. He was younger and stronger than me, but my reasoning was that I was lighter, and had less weight to carry. It was a blast, and fed into our competitive natures. And it was really fucking fun.
Anyway, a few nights ago, I'm in a hotel alone, relaxing and trying to clear my mind by staying in and doing nothing. I decide I want a drink. Unusual for me, as I don't usually drink, but whatever..
I leave the door to my hotel room propped open with the security latch, and head down the hall in search of the ice machine. Turns out to be downstairs one floor, so I skip down, grab some ice and a soda, and take the elevator back up.
Just as I turn the corner, I see some guy coming out of my room! I call out to him, "what the fuck?!" And he stammers something about wrong room, and walks toward the stairs to his 2 friends, who are already going down.
I peek into my room and notice right away they took my laptop and cell phone off the desk.
I race down the stairs and out the door. I see them running to a silver SUV, and I'm yelling, "Stop you Fuckers! That's my stuff!!" and start running to them.
Third step and I bust my ass. I wear heels always. That includes a trip to the ice machine. I kick them off and throw them towards the hotel door, and I'm off like a bat outta hell. I got my hands on the last guy, and yank him as he's trying to get in the truck. Guess he didn't see me coming, cause he fell out and his buddies left his ass. I throw a rock, but they ain't stoppin for shit.
So this guy is up and running, and I'm running after him. Fucker's fast, and I'm barefoot, so he is about a half block ahead, and gaining a lead. But I don't lose sight of hime, and we race for about 3 or 4 blocks before it looks like he might get away. Then I see a guy on a scooter at the stop sigh ahead. I BEG him, "Please, just run me to the end of the block! That guy just robbed me!"
Poor guy was torn between wanting to help and wanting to take off, but the good citizen in him won out and just as the guy cut down an alley, he dropped me at the intersection past it where he should come out.
There's a meter maid giving out tickets, and I run and ask him to call the cops causee some guy just robbed me and he's in the alley. This motherfucker says no!!!!
No time to let him know how big of a dick his mother raised because I see a white T-shirt out of the corner of my eye at the mouth of the ally. The guy's peeking out I guess.
So now I'm hyped up from running, and pissed off at the robbers and the meter maid. I am seeing blood.
I run too the alley, and see him trying to get behind a dumpster. I grab his waistband, and swing him out like a rag doll, and grab his shirt. He tries to flip me, but I am not easy to flip when I'm just playing, and right now it's just not gonna happen. I'm like, "Motherfucker what the fuck? That's my shit! What the fuck. You better call your friends and tell them to bring me my shit or you're goin to fucking jail."
"I don't do noting!" He's saying. I'm literally dragging him out of the alley by his pants, and he's really trying to get away now. But I am NOT letting go. Hell. No.
The scooter guy flagged down a cop, and he plus three cop cars pull up. I let him go a put up my hands. He gets up and looks like he's gonna bolt again. The cop pulls his gun. It was scary then, and I said to him. "Don't fucking run, Man. They will shoot you. It's not worth it. For real." He stops. Thank God, cause I didn't want to see that shit.
So I won a foot race. Wait till I tell Tal. He's gonna laugh. But I still don't have my shit back.
That sucks, but thinking about it now, tha was really stupid. If he had a weapon, I'd be dead.
But he didn't, and I'm not, and he's gotta feel like a world's biggest asshole getting caught by me. He was not a small guy. Caught by a girl. Ha Ha Ha. That is the only consolation I have so I'll take it.
I'm going to ice my leg now. I've got scrapes and bruises all over. Bet he does too.
Motherfucker. I want my prize....a blue ribbon or something at least. And now I need a new computer and a new phone. So you guys won't hear from me for a while. Don't worry. I'm tougher than even I thought.
Listening to: my heartbeat
Reading: the back of an aspirin bottle
Watching: my back
Playing: no games
Eating: m&m's (plain)
Drinking: Grey Goose